All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
