i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
