There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
