I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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