sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
