Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just google imaged poop.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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