Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
