he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
