Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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