Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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