So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
did i walk over a car last night?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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