He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
