im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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