How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
