Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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