Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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