DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
