Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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