Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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