I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i love accidental penises.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
