I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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