Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
