that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
