this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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