Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
