Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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