i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I die, sorry about rent.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
