Your dad touched me again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
