Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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