It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
