accomplished twins. life is a go
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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