16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
