Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
