Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I deserve this hangover.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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