I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he shaved USA in his pubs
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
