at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
