what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
