a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
