you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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