i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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