there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
