Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
