I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
