apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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