Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
