Say something about gay babies.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
