I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
