That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
only if we run a train.
done.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
