the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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