What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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